Clut-ter (v):
To make untidy or confused.
Growing up requires us to adopt new traits and habits while at the same time, getting rid of others. I assume these new traits and habits are meant to hone who we are and to ultimately build character. Oftentimes, we conform, whether consciously or unconsciously. We work effortlessly to prove ourselves, all in a bid to live up to the standards set by others. The interesting thing about living up to standards set by others is that we accumulate so much unnecessary clutter. Clutter, a verb, is the act of making something untidy or confused. When engaging in the above-mentioned act, not only do we make our own lives untidy, but we confuse them, subsequently losing our true sense of authenticity. We lose ourselves in the process of creating this “perfect” image – an image that we believe others will deem as suitable. The only question in my mind at this point, is “why do we subject ourselves to this untidiness and confusion?” And for real, it is mostly us women – young and old subjected to this.
So why do we subject ourselves to this?
I have come to believe that various settings and circumstances are amongst the reasons as to why we often lose our identity to things that add zero to minimal value in our lives. Work, religion, and other societal norms play a key role in whether we remain authentic and true to ourselves. Authenticity is based on the notion of being genuine, however, this genuineness is challenged when, for instance, one is forced not to reveal their emotional side in the workplace as this may be interpreted as a sign of weakness. As women we either consciously or unconsciously alter our personalities and character -along the way, accumulating so many unnecessary traits. When accumulating these other traits, we strip and almost cast aside what makes us unique, ultimately tarnishing our personality. On the flip side, how do we blame women for altering who they are, especially in a world which is so critical of them? Time and time again, men have been given the platform to express who they are, naked and bare, but if it is a woman expressing herself in the same manner as a man, everyone else on the sidelines is so quick, in an uproar to criticize her. In a sense, the above forces a woman, along with many other factors to change who she is, to behave differently, and as they like to put it, “behave like a woman”.
Imagine waking up and carrying a load of 10kgs. Each day, consecutively, you pick up a new load of 10kgs, whilst carrying this load you are expected to carry out your daily duties. Not only is this exhausting physically but mentally too. When we strive to live according to other people, this is what happens, we burden ourselves simply because we crave recognition and acceptance from the next person. In pursuit of recognition, we create this idealistic persona. It is inherently important that we do some soul searching – internal research if you may call it. Learn to understand who you are, the power, and the greatness which you possess because, in all honesty, no-one can do you better than you! There is only one you, life would be so boring if we were all a replica of the next person. The only way in which we can get rid of all that clutter, tidy our lives, and un-confuse ourselves is to live authentically – shamelessly so, authentically live our lives! Present yourself in every sphere and domain of life as authentic as you can be. Not only will the above transform our own lives but the lives of others as well, as they see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with leading an authentic life. By being genuine we can also transform the spaces which we inhabit.
Not only is clutter heavy, but it is unnecessary. As women, we need to work towards turning things around, pave our paths and unashamedly express the joys and benefits that come with leading an authentic life. Being authentic is about embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly because that is what makes us who we are. In all our glory we are women, pioneers and so much more than what society limits us to. As for me, I found and understood myself the day I stopped gathering clutter.
